top of page
  • inspireyourselflc

Why Do People Cheat In Relationships?

Understanding Infidelity: Why People Cheat When Their Needs Aren't Met

Infidelity is a complex and often painful issue that affects countless relationships worldwide. It's a topic that has been explored in literature, movies, and countless conversations among friends and therapists. One common explanation for infidelity is that people cheat because their needs are not being met within their current relationship. In this blog post, we will delve deeper into this idea and explore the reasons behind why individuals might stray when they feel unfulfilled in their primary partnership.

Human Needs and Relationships

To understand the concept of cheating due to unmet needs, it's essential to first acknowledge that humans have a range of emotional and psychological needs that they seek to fulfill through their relationships. These needs can vary from person to person, but some of the fundamental ones include:

  1. Emotional Connection: Humans crave emotional intimacy, including love, empathy, and understanding from their partners.

  2. Physical Intimacy: This involves not only sexual satisfaction but also physical affection and closeness.

  3. Companionship: People desire companionship and a sense of partnership in their relationships, someone to share their lives with.

  4. Validation and Appreciation: Feeling valued and appreciated by one's partner is crucial for self-esteem and relationship satisfaction.

  5. Adventure and Novelty: Variety and excitement are important for keeping relationships fresh and stimulating.

  6. Autonomy: Everyone needs a certain degree of independence and personal space within a relationship.

When these needs are not met or are consistently ignored within a relationship, individuals may start to feel unfulfilled and unhappy. This discontentment can sometimes lead them to seek out alternatives, potentially leading to cheating or infidelity.

The Role of Attraction

Cheating often involves a third party who enters the picture and represents the fulfillment of the unmet needs. This person may not necessarily be better than the current partner, but they offer something the individual feels is lacking in their primary relationship. This can lead to a strong attraction and ultimately, infidelity.

Here are some common scenarios where attraction to someone else arises due to unmet needs:

  1. Emotional Connection: If someone is feeling emotionally neglected in their current relationship, they may be drawn to a person who listens to them, understands them, and provides the emotional support they crave.

  2. Physical Intimacy: When physical intimacy is lacking, someone may find themselves attracted to another person who fulfills their desire for touch, affection, and sexual satisfaction.

  3. Companionship: Loneliness and a sense of isolation within a relationship can make individuals susceptible to forming close bonds with others who provide the companionship and friendship they are missing.

  4. Validation and Appreciation: A person who doesn't feel valued or appreciated by their partner may be drawn to someone who showers them with compliments and recognition.

  5. Adventure and Novelty: Routine and predictability in a relationship can drive some individuals to seek excitement and novelty elsewhere.

  6. Autonomy: Feeling suffocated or controlled within a relationship can lead someone to be attracted to individuals who offer them freedom and independence.

It's essential to note that attraction doesn't always lead to infidelity. Many individuals can experience attraction outside their relationships but choose not to act on it out of respect for their partner and the commitment they've made.

Communication and Conflict Resolution

While unmet needs can create the conditions for infidelity to occur, it's crucial to remember that cheating is a choice. Instead of straying, individuals can address their dissatisfaction in healthier ways by communicating openly with their partner and working on their relationship. Here are some steps couples can take:

  1. Open Communication: Share your feelings and needs with your partner honestly. They may not even be aware that you're feeling unfulfilled.

  2. Seek Professional Help: If communication becomes challenging or unproductive, consider seeking the assistance of a therapist or counsellor to facilitate productive conversations.

  3. Prioritize the Relationship: Both partners must commit to working on the relationship and making an effort to meet each other's needs.

  4. Rekindle the Flame: Try to reintroduce novelty, adventure, and excitement into the relationship to keep things fresh.

  5. Set Boundaries: If you find yourself attracted to someone else, it's crucial to establish boundaries to prevent crossing the line into infidelity.


Cheating is a complex issue with a myriad of causes, and one prominent factor is unmet needs within a relationship. When individuals feel that their fundamental emotional, physical, or psychological needs are not being met, they may be more susceptible to the advances of others who seem to offer what they're missing.

However, it's essential to emphasize that infidelity is not an inevitable outcome of unmet needs. Couples can choose to address these issues through open communication, commitment, and therapy rather than seeking fulfillment outside of their relationship. By recognizing the importance of meeting each other's needs and working together to build a stronger connection, couples can decrease the likelihood of infidelity and foster healthier, more satisfying relationships.

9 views0 comments


bottom of page